The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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