Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
