Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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