Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
