found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
