It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
