Im at strip club and am horny
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
