Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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