it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
