oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
