Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
