Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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