goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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