Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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