You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
