i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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