I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
being pregnant is like rehab
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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