First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
