Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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