Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
