I'm jealous of your bromance
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
