did you get engaged???
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
