We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Someone shattered a urinal.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
