why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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