yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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