I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
