How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
