I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
ugly people sure do ruin things
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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