i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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