forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
