Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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