i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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