stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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