well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
