I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
