at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
