If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She needs sedatives and a leash
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
