Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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