You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think my fart just growled at me.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
