they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
