I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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