i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
