If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
