you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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