Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
