It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
