I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize