ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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