I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
