Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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