You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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