i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
