Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
